While my upcoming book
Pete: Pete, thanks for taking time off from yourself to sit down with yourself and talk about your upcoming book.
Pete: My pleasure, Pete. Thanks for asking. And I’m always thrilled to talk with myself about myself.
Pete: Great. So, what’s the title?
Pete: I don’t know.
Pete: What’s it about?
Pete: I don’t know.
Pete: Do you have a major theme or idea ?
Pete: Yeah…I think…I don’t know.
Pete: When is the draft due?
Pete: You promised you wouldn’t ask that.
Pete: {stares at Pete}
Pete: “Due” is a fluid word with many nuances. Who am I to limit myself to only one binding definition?
Pete: What nuance do you think your publisher has?
Pete: End of the year.
Pete: Tell me about your writing schedule. You are on a writing schedule, aren’t you? You’re not just watching TV or finding ways to distract yourself, are you?
Pete: I’ve learned not to force or “schedule” my creativity but to let it flow when and where it wants. When the muses hit, they hit, and I’m off and running.
Pete: I see. So you let yourself roam free, as it were, like an undisciplined child in a restaurant. And how often do the muses visit you?
Pete: The 5th Thursday of the month, unless there’s something good in TV. But if not, I put in a pretty powerful hour or so of quality (not quantity) writing.
Pete: Writing seems to be a struggle for you.
Pete: Gee, do ya think? Stop judging me. You’re always judging me.
Pete: Maybe you should find another career path. Have you thought this through?
Pete: Stop it, stop it! You’re not mom. YOU’RE. NOT. MOM!!
Pete: I just think if you applied yourself a bit more, maybe acted like an adult, stopped whining and disciplined yourself to get up early, you might be be able to pull off a little thing like writing a book. It’s not like you’re in a war starving on rotted potatoes, bullets zinging past you, not knowing whether you will have a tomorrow.
Pete: OK, so we’re back in the old country now “dad,” the Vaterland, alles in Ordnung, Du kannst denn Du sollst? You’re crushing my soul.
Pete: I’m just saying you’re turning out to be a bit of a disappointment to both of us, that’s all, and I thought you could use some constructive criticism in the form of Old World German guilt. It’s worked pretty well for you so far.
Pete: True… OK, starting tomorrow, it’s back to proven methods: a self-talk regimen focusing on not-good-enough, perfectionism, guilt, and shame. I should have a draft by late next week.
Pete: Wonderful. Maybe we can do the interview then when you’ve actually done something to make us all proud.
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