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trump1. Trump is completely crazy.*

2. Trump doesn’t even have hinges to become unhinged.#

3. Trump just can’t keep it zipped. His mouth, too.@

4. Why are we even discussing this?

5. Sweet Jesus, do something.

6. Just look at his eyes, people. Look. at. them.

7. Dear God, are you there? It’s me, Pete.

8. I don’t like how “apocalyptic scenario” has made its way into my daily speech patterns.

9. Won’t anyone think of the children?

10. Y’all can find Russia, fad diets, and financial advice in the Bible, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find a verse or two clearly telling you to not vote for Trump. I suggest leafing through Revelation 12 or 19.

*Google “Donald Trump” and watch any video.
#Google “Donald Trump” and watch any video.
@Google “Donald Trump” and watch any video.

***Alert readers will note that this post is not an endorsement of any presidential candidate, and so should not be taken as an endorsement of any presidential candidate. And I mean that. So don’t assume.***

[Please be patient as your comment is in moderation. Comments are normally posted within 6 hours but may take as long as 24—longer if you’re annoying. Bombastic and unhinged comments won’t be posted, so don’t bother. Life will go on for you so don’t sweat it.]

Pete Enns, Ph.D.

Peter Enns (Ph.D., Harvard University) is Abram S. Clemens professor of biblical studies at Eastern University in St. Davids, Pennsylvania. He has written numerous books, including The Bible Tells Me So, The Sin of Certainty, and How the Bible Actually Works. Tweets at @peteenns.